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Welcome to WTF Is The Music Industry?: The Official Store

Music & studio merch for people who are this close to spiraling.

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  • "Bad News for the Billboard Charts, I Woke Up" - 20oz Skinny Tumbler w/ Straw

    "Bad News for the Billboard Charts, I Woke Up" - 20oz Skinny Tumbler w/ Straw

    "Bad News for the Billboard Charts, I Woke Up" - 20oz Skinny Tumbler w/ Straw

    Regular price $35.00 USD
    Regular price Sale price $35.00 USD
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  • "Bangers Only Past This Point" - Studio Entrance Doormat

    "Bangers Only Past This Point" - Studio Entrance Doormat

    "Bangers Only Past This Point" - Studio Entrance Doormat

    Regular price $50.00 USD
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  • "Never Cut Below 20Hz. I Can Hear That." - A Pigeon | Ceramic Mug (11oz.)

    "Never Cut Below 20Hz. I Can Hear That." - A Pigeon | Ceramic Mug (11oz.)

    "Never Cut Below 20Hz. I Can Hear That." - A Pigeon | Ceramic Mug (11oz.)

    Regular price $16.00 USD
    Regular price Sale price $16.00 USD
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  • "Sad Songwriting Machine" - Unisex Heavy Blend™ Hoodie

    "Sad Songwriting Machine" - Unisex Heavy Blend™ Hoodie

    "Sad Songwriting Machine" - Unisex Heavy Blend™ Hoodie

    Regular price $39.99 USD
    Regular price Sale price $39.99 USD
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  • "Songwrite, Girlboss, Gatekeep" - Songwriting Hardcover Journal

    "Songwrite, Girlboss, Gatekeep" - Songwriting Hardcover Journal

    "Songwrite, Girlboss, Gatekeep" - Songwriting Hardcover Journal

    Regular price $16.00 USD
    Regular price Sale price $16.00 USD
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  • "Wanna Know What Needs 4:1 Ratio Compression? My Loud Farting Ass" - B&W Accent Mug (11oz.)

    "Wanna Know What Needs 4:1 Ratio Compression? My Loud Farting Ass" - B&W Accent Mug (11oz.)

    "Wanna Know What Needs 4:1 Ratio Compression? My Loud Farting Ass" - B&W Accent Mug (11oz.)

    Regular price $15.00 USD
    Regular price Sale price $15.00 USD
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  • 'I yam nex big pOpstAr like Jussin Bibber' - Color Accent Mug (11oz.)

    'I yam nex big pOpstAr like Jussin Bibber' - Color Accent Mug (11oz.)

    'I yam nex big pOpstAr like Jussin Bibber' - Color Accent Mug (11oz.)

    Regular price $16.00 USD
    Regular price Sale price $16.00 USD
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  • *Screlting* Defying Gravity At The Function - Singer Unisex Crewneck Sweatshirt

    *Screlting* Defying Gravity At The Function - Singer Unisex Crewneck Sweatshirt

    *Screlting* Defying Gravity At The Function - Singer Unisex Crewneck Sweatshirt

    Regular price $35.00 USD
    Regular price Sale price $35.00 USD
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  • Always Playing Piano With My Lil' Fingies - Ceramic Mug for Pianists (11oz. | 15oz.)

    Always Playing Piano With My Lil' Fingies - Ceramic Mug for Pianists (11oz. | 15oz.)

    Always Playing Piano With My Lil' Fingies - Ceramic Mug for Pianists (11oz. | 15oz.)

    Regular price From $16.00 USD
    Regular price Sale price From $16.00 USD
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  • Anti-360° Deal Kickflip McTwist - Label Parody Unisex Crewneck Sweatshirt

    Anti-360° Deal Kickflip McTwist - Label Parody Unisex Crewneck Sweatshirt

    Anti-360° Deal Kickflip McTwist - Label Parody Unisex Crewneck Sweatshirt

    Regular price $35.00 USD
    Regular price Sale price $35.00 USD
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  • Bounce Stems No Sleep - Studio Desk Mat

    Bounce Stems No Sleep - Studio Desk Mat

    Bounce Stems No Sleep - Studio Desk Mat

    Regular price $24.99 USD
    Regular price Sale price $24.99 USD
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  • Call U Back Mom - I'm Laying Down Backies & Harms! - Accent Coffee Mug (11oz.)

    Call U Back Mom - I'm Laying Down Backies & Harms! - Accent Coffee Mug (11oz.)

    Call U Back Mom - I'm Laying Down Backies & Harms! - Accent Coffee Mug (11oz.)

    Regular price $16.00 USD
    Regular price Sale price $16.00 USD
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  • Could I Get More Verb on My Vocal - Unisex Color Blast 100% Ring-Spun Cotton T-Shirt

    Could I Get More Verb on My Vocal - Unisex Color Blast 100% Ring-Spun Cotton T-Shirt

    Could I Get More Verb on My Vocal - Unisex Color Blast 100% Ring-Spun Cotton T-Shirt

    Regular price $32.00 USD
    Regular price Sale price $32.00 USD
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  • Didn't Go Viral, Time To Spiral - 9oz Scented Soy Candle

    Didn't Go Viral, Time To Spiral - 9oz Scented Soy Candle

    Didn't Go Viral, Time To Spiral - 9oz Scented Soy Candle

    Regular price $24.00 USD
    Regular price Sale price $24.00 USD
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  • Product mockup

    Didn't Go Viral, Time To Spiral - Case for AirPods®

    Didn't Go Viral, Time To Spiral - Case for AirPods®

    Regular price From $20.08 USD
    Regular price Sale price From $20.08 USD
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  • Didn't Go Viral, Time To Spiral - Guitar Picks (6-Pack)

    Didn't Go Viral, Time To Spiral - Guitar Picks (6-Pack)

    Didn't Go Viral, Time To Spiral - Guitar Picks (6-Pack)

    Regular price $10.00 USD
    Regular price Sale price $10.00 USD
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  • Didn't Go Viral, Time To Spiral | Ceramic Mug (11oz.)

    Didn't Go Viral, Time To Spiral | Ceramic Mug (11oz.)

    Didn't Go Viral, Time To Spiral | Ceramic Mug (11oz.)

    Regular price $16.00 USD
    Regular price Sale price $16.00 USD
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  • Friends? Where Can I Download That Plug-In? - Accent Mug for Producers (11oz.)

    Friends? Where Can I Download That Plug-In? - Accent Mug for Producers (11oz.)

    Friends? Where Can I Download That Plug-In? - Accent Mug for Producers (11oz.)

    Regular price $16.00 USD
    Regular price Sale price $16.00 USD
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  • Honey, Your Aunt Pat Wants To Know If You've Ever Thought About Going On "The Voice"? - Ceramic Mug (11oz.)

    Honey, Your Aunt Pat Wants To Know If You've Ever Thought About Going On "The Voice"? - Ceramic Mug (11oz.)

    Honey, Your Aunt Pat Wants To Know If You've Ever Thought About Going On "The Voice"? - Ceramic Mug (11oz.)

    Regular price $16.00 USD
    Regular price Sale price $16.00 USD
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  • I <3 Bouncing Stems & Dying - Mouse Pad for Producers + Mixers

    I <3 Bouncing Stems & Dying - Mouse Pad for Producers + Mixers

    I <3 Bouncing Stems & Dying - Mouse Pad for Producers + Mixers

    Regular price $15.00 USD
    Regular price Sale price $15.00 USD
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  • I Pay My Landlord In Exposure - Crewneck Sweatshirt

    I Pay My Landlord In Exposure - Crewneck Sweatshirt

    I Pay My Landlord In Exposure - Crewneck Sweatshirt

    Regular price $35.00 USD
    Regular price Sale price $35.00 USD
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  • I Put Soothe 2 On My Emotional Trauma & I'm All Better Now - Ceramic Mug, Black (11oz.)

    I Put Soothe 2 On My Emotional Trauma & I'm All Better Now - Ceramic Mug, Black (11oz.)

    I Put Soothe 2 On My Emotional Trauma & I'm All Better Now - Ceramic Mug, Black (11oz.)

    Regular price $16.00 USD
    Regular price Sale price $16.00 USD
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  • In The Club Listening To Ballads - SLOTH Unisex T-Shirt

    In The Club Listening To Ballads - SLOTH Unisex T-Shirt

    In The Club Listening To Ballads - SLOTH Unisex T-Shirt

    Regular price $25.00 USD
    Regular price Sale price $25.00 USD
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  • Independent (Artist) Who Don't Need No Mans - Crewneck Sweatshirt

    Independent (Artist) Who Don't Need No Mans - Crewneck Sweatshirt

    Independent (Artist) Who Don't Need No Mans - Crewneck Sweatshirt

    Regular price $35.00 USD
    Regular price Sale price $35.00 USD
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  • INDIE POP - Metal Skulls Baseball Cap

    INDIE POP - Metal Skulls Baseball Cap

    INDIE POP - Metal Skulls Baseball Cap

    Regular price From $33.99 USD
    Regular price Sale price From $33.99 USD
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  • Lip Trilling At The Function - Unisex Crewneck Sweatshirt

    Lip Trilling At The Function - Unisex Crewneck Sweatshirt

    Lip Trilling At The Function - Unisex Crewneck Sweatshirt

    Regular price $30.00 USD
    Regular price Sale price $30.00 USD
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  • Music Producer Sitting In Chair [Acryllic On Canvas, 2025] - Shrimp Posture Long-Sleeve T-Shirt

    Music Producer Sitting In Chair [Acryllic On Canvas, 2025] - Shrimp Posture Long-Sleeve T-Shirt

    Music Producer Sitting In Chair [Acryllic On Canvas, 2025] - Shrimp Posture Long-Sleeve T-Shirt

    Regular price $30.00 USD
    Regular price Sale price $30.00 USD
    Unit price /  per 
  • Music Sucks - Whimsy Frog Guitar Tee

    Music Sucks - Whimsy Frog Guitar Tee

    Music Sucks - Whimsy Frog Guitar Tee

    Regular price $30.00 USD
    Regular price Sale price $30.00 USD
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  • NIRBANA SMELL LIKE TEN SPIRITS - Parody T-Shirt (Unisex Ringspun Cotton)

    NIRBANA SMELL LIKE TEN SPIRITS - Parody T-Shirt (Unisex Ringspun Cotton)

    NIRBANA SMELL LIKE TEN SPIRITS - Parody T-Shirt (Unisex Ringspun Cotton)

    Regular price $25.00 USD
    Regular price Sale price $25.00 USD
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  • Parallel Compress These NUTS - Kiss-Cut Stickers for Producers + Mixers

    Parallel Compress These NUTS - Kiss-Cut Stickers for Producers + Mixers

    Parallel Compress These NUTS - Kiss-Cut Stickers for Producers + Mixers

    Regular price $5.00 USD
    Regular price Sale price $5.00 USD
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  • Please Don't Call Me Lazy & Unhelpful! I'm Not A Major Label - Black Ceramic Mug

    Please Don't Call Me Lazy & Unhelpful! I'm Not A Major Label - Black Ceramic Mug

    Please Don't Call Me Lazy & Unhelpful! I'm Not A Major Label - Black Ceramic Mug

    Regular price $16.00 USD
    Regular price Sale price $16.00 USD
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  • PRE-SAVE - The Anxious Artist Mug

    PRE-SAVE - The Anxious Artist Mug

    PRE-SAVE - The Anxious Artist Mug

    Regular price $17.99 USD
    Regular price Sale price $17.99 USD
    Unit price /  per 
  • Sad Boy Indie Artist -  Unisex Heavy Blend™ Hoodie

    Sad Boy Indie Artist - Unisex Heavy Blend™ Hoodie

    Sad Boy Indie Artist - Unisex Heavy Blend™ Hoodie

    Regular price $39.99 USD
    Regular price Sale price $39.99 USD
    Unit price /  per 
  • Sidechain The Kick To Ur MOM - Accent Coffee Mug for Producers (15oz.)

    Sidechain The Kick To Ur MOM - Accent Coffee Mug for Producers (15oz.)

    Sidechain The Kick To Ur MOM - Accent Coffee Mug for Producers (15oz.)

    Regular price $16.00 USD
    Regular price Sale price $16.00 USD
    Unit price /  per 
  • Snare Sounds Like Sh*t - Metallic Silver Mug (11oz.)

    Snare Sounds Like Sh*t - Metallic Silver Mug (11oz.)

    Snare Sounds Like Sh*t - Metallic Silver Mug (11oz.)

    Regular price $24.00 USD
    Regular price Sale price $24.00 USD
    Unit price /  per 
  • Songwrite, Girlboss, Gatekeep - 100% Spun Polyester Throw Pillow

    Songwrite, Girlboss, Gatekeep - 100% Spun Polyester Throw Pillow

    Songwrite, Girlboss, Gatekeep - 100% Spun Polyester Throw Pillow

    Regular price $30.00 USD
    Regular price Sale price $30.00 USD
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Digital artist (& working musician first!) whose niche, gag designs aim to bring comic relief & more visibility to the crazy world that is the modern music industry, and all who work in it.

To my fellow, incredible, hard-working music folk:

I love you -- I hope these make you laugh (or feel seen)... IYKYK.

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